Friday, November 23, 2012

A Small Thanksgiving

Today, Black Friday, comes with a deep exhale. Yesterday was the celebration of family coming together and being thankful for the blessings God is showing to us.

We started with prepping the turkey and veggies. Since I have cooked a full turkey before, I was elected to have the honor of handling the bird. At 10am, our oven was already full with festivity! A lemon garlic turkey quickly gave fragrance to the house as we made mashed potatoes, au gratin potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and gravy. All these, along with crescent rolls, pecan pie, german chocolate pie, and pumpkin pie that were completed the day before, made our table bursting as well as our stomachs more than satisfied.

The conversation both while we were preparing the meal and while we were partaking it, filled a starved part of myself that went deeper than my stomach. Seeing family for the first time in six months made me aware of how much I miss being able to hug my sister, see my grandma cry from laughing, and see all the things my aunt and uncle have been working on.

Sitting down today with nothing but relaxation planned struck me this morning as boring and tedious. However, under more contemplation, I see that if I were to fill my day with doing, I would be starving myself in the presence of a feast. Not just the food or drinks, but the company that is so rare for me.

This year, I am more than thankful for family as it is the true delicacy that we celebrate at this time of year.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Confessions of a Susie-Homemaker Wannabe

In my recent life, there have been many changes, a new house, new dog, and a new expectation. My husband and I are expecting our first baby. With this development, I have come to the realization that becoming the idealistic stay at home mom is full of unpleasant realities and necessities. I have great examples in my life of women providing welcoming, warm homes. My mother raised 5 kids. She not only homeschooled and worked part-time, we had home cooked dinner every night together at the table. She made it seem effortless. She was not alone. So many family friends had this "effortless" air about their home making abilities.

I'm seeing now that "effortless" takes work and help. The most recent realization came when I was in bed tired and sick from pregnancy having it's way in rearranging my body. As I could barely get out of bed, our home-cooked dinners were not happening. I tried to work up the effort to get something together but it was not happening. As I was just there, trying to not be sick.

I saw my husband coming home and tried to work up the energy to greet him at the door and not look like a zombie. He came in the door and I quickly expressed that I didn't feel well and didn't have anything planned for dinner and the dishes in the sink would get done later. I was so afraid he would be disappointed in me but instead, he gave me a hug reassured me it was ok and to take a nap. The ah-ha moment came, I was really upset about not being the Susie-Homemaker I had aspired to be. I was a Susie-Homemaker Wannabe! That was my disappointment, that thought was draining my energy even more.

I went back to the couch to take a nap. My husband not only took care of the dog, did the dishes, but also woke me with a plan to go and get dinner as take out or if I was up to it, as casual sit down.

I realized later, as I was thanking God for my wonderful husband, this was how my mom and all those women were able to have an "effortless" home. They had HELP. Their husbands, children, and friends where able and willing to step in and pick up the slack.

I never knew I was really helping my mom. I see now, I should have helped her more.

I am confident that I will make mistakes, but I'm also confident that the people around me are willing and able to step in, help out, and encourage me to keep going as I aspire to be a Susie-Homemaker Extraordinaire.