In my recent life, there have been many changes, a new house, new dog, and a new expectation. My husband and I are expecting our first baby. With this development, I have come to the realization that becoming the idealistic stay at home mom is full of unpleasant realities and necessities. I have great examples in my life of women providing welcoming, warm homes. My mother raised 5 kids. She not only homeschooled and worked part-time, we had home cooked dinner every night together at the table. She made it seem effortless. She was not alone. So many family friends had this "effortless" air about their home making abilities.
I'm seeing now that "effortless" takes work and help. The most recent realization came when I was in bed tired and sick from pregnancy having it's way in rearranging my body. As I could barely get out of bed, our home-cooked dinners were not happening. I tried to work up the effort to get something together but it was not happening. As I was just there, trying to not be sick.
I saw my husband coming home and tried to work up the energy to greet him at the door and not look like a zombie. He came in the door and I quickly expressed that I didn't feel well and didn't have anything planned for dinner and the dishes in the sink would get done later. I was so afraid he would be disappointed in me but instead, he gave me a hug reassured me it was ok and to take a nap. The ah-ha moment came, I was really upset about not being the Susie-Homemaker I had aspired to be. I was a Susie-Homemaker Wannabe! That was my disappointment, that thought was draining my energy even more.
I went back to the couch to take a nap. My husband not only took care of the dog, did the dishes, but also woke me with a plan to go and get dinner as take out or if I was up to it, as casual sit down.
I realized later, as I was thanking God for my wonderful husband, this was how my mom and all those women were able to have an "effortless" home. They had HELP. Their husbands, children, and friends where able and willing to step in and pick up the slack.
I never knew I was really helping my mom. I see now, I should have helped her more.
I am confident that I will make mistakes, but I'm also confident that the people around me are willing and able to step in, help out, and encourage me to keep going as I aspire to be a Susie-Homemaker Extraordinaire.